Love: The Most Overused Word in the English Language

One of my favorite YouTube channels is called "Blimey Cow". I recently was watching one of their "Messy Monday" videos titled "'Like' vs. 'Love'" (watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Iv62bxFTW0&feature=bf_next&list=PL84299E25C73D08DE). In this video, Jordan comically illustrates his frustration with the overuse of the word "Love" in today's society.

He points out that, unlike other languages, the only word we have in the English language to describe love is... well... love. When he said that, it reminded me that in the Greek language, there are four different types of "love". They are:

1. Eros, which is sexual love/lust. (This is where we get the word "Erotic").
2. Storge, which is love between sisters and brothers, mother and child, ect. Family love.
3. Philia, which is love for your friends. (Remember the root "phil" from English class?)
4. Agape, which is the highest form of love there is. It is unconditional love for others in spite of their character flaws and weaknesses. This is the love that, as a Christian, I would say that God has for us (John 3:16), and the love that He desires for us to have for our fellow human. (Mark 12:31)

Jordan then challenges the viewer on why they use the same word to describe their feelings toward something as meaningless as a bar of soap as they would their family, or even God himself. "It just doesn't make any sense, does it!?" You're right, Jordan, it doesn't make ANY sense. He goes on to say "Love is a verb. It's something you actively do, not something you feel". And in my opinion, he's right.

Let me guess, you tell your mom you love her everyday, but when was the last time you did something nice for her? Even something as simple as getting her a fresh cup of coffee without her asking for it? 

Are you one of  those people who constantly posts on Facebook about how much you "love" the guy or gal you've been dating for 2 weeks, but then when someone new comes to town who you think is more attractive (*cough* EROS *cough*), you leave your significant other in pursuit of the new person?

Let's look at what the Bible says about love:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Ask yourself, did you truly love them? No, you didn't, because love is not self-seeking. When you truly love someone, you would lay down your life for them (John 15:13).

So the next time you're about to tell someone you love them when you are only a week into the relationship, or say you love the new soap at Bath & Body works, don't. You don't love soap, you like soap. You don't love your new partner, you're attracted to them.

And I know at least one of you is staring at the screen wanting to scream at me: "I love my new boyfriend! I really do!!!" Stop. Breathe. Think about the depth of your words for a second. Would you literally die for them? No, you probably wouldn't.

Try using "like" instead of love in everyday conversation, and I think you'll find that when you do say "I love you", it will have a lot more meaning than it did before.

I'm Not Cheap.

I went to Starbucks today with my good friend Taylor, and when we were leaving a man asked me on a date. At first I was very surprised, and since I didn't know anything about him (including his name), I politely refused his offer. For some reason, I couldn't shrug it off all day today. I thought about it and prayed about it, and I realized that his offer made me feel cheap.

This man knew absolutely nothing about me. He didn't know about my faith. He didn't know that I graduated in the top ten percent of my class. He didn't know that I'm a youth leader for middle school and high school age students at my church. He didn't know anything about me that mattered. He didn't even know my name. All he knew was that I have a blonde friend and I like Starbucks. That left only one explanation as to why he would ask me out... physical. (And before you ask, yes, I was dressed modestly.)

That's what made me feel gross. Did he really expect me to say yes when I didn't even know his name, let alone anything about his character? It was insulting to think about. How cheap and easy does he think I am? In reality I'm not easy. I have standards. I wouldn't say yes to a man unless I knew at the very minimum that he was a respectable person. Oh, and his NAME.

I'll close with something I read out of Proverbs this morning:  "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:30.

Vulnerable.

I spent a long time talking with my best friend today. She told me that I was "tough", which I almost laughed at because I don't think I'm tough at all. It did make me realize that I subconsciously put up a hard exterior, and it makes me... unapproachable? I guess that's the word for it. The thought saddened me a lot.

My heart was hardened a lot when I was younger. Loosing a lot of family members as a child caused me to grow up faster than any child should. Softball also contributed to it. I learned very quickly that there is no whining in softball, and it toughened me up a lot. I learned how to suck things up and deal with them. 

I've spent a long time praying for my hardened heart to be softened. I believe it has been, but I guess I don't show it very well. So I'm going to try.

Here's the truth:

I'm extremely vulnerable. When I care about something/someone, I care deeply. To the pits of my soul deep.  I hate seeing other people in pain, and I'm too empathetic for my own good. I get nervous easily, and when I'm around people that I admire but don't that know well I get quiet and shy, because I'm scared of not being liked. I hate approaching people first, because I'm scared of being rejected. I usually only open up to a select few people, because I feel that people will reject me. Let's just say if I open up to you, you should feel pretty darn special. And as I said before, I care deeply, and therefore I feel pain deeply.

I'm not as tough as you may think. And I hope I don't seem unapproachable. I'm actually a very approachable person. I like most people that I meet.

I think I wrote this because I wanted to let everyone that's reading this know that they can come to me with anything. If you need or want something, I will be there for you in any way that I possibly can. I'm only a phone call, text message, or Facebook message away. I'm here. It's simple.

Why I Am No Longer A Feminist

Feminist.org defines Feminism as the policy, practice, or advocacy of political, economic, and social equality for women. Sounds good, right? That's why I was a "Feminist" for so long. I believed, and still do believe, that women should have the same rights that men do. I am no longer a Feminist for two reasons. (1) I don't want to be affiliated with the Radical Feminists, sometimes called "Feminazis". (2) Women already have equal rights, so modern feminism is pointless.

I read an article today titled "Put On Your Bras, Shave Your Armpits, And Quit Your B****ing". I wasn't a fan of the crude way the author presented his argument, but something he said stuck out to me:

"Most feminists seem to conform to feminist stereotypes. I can usually pick out a feminist in a croud of women. She'll usually have short hair, regular pants, a regular shirt, and an unbathed look; she'll look very much like a stereotypical guy. I think why a feminist might appear like this is to make a statement that "if men can do it and be accepted, then women should be able to". How bold, to go around and look like a stereotypical guy as opposed to a stereotypical girl. Who cares.... Not every woman will share feminist ideals, so a possible argument that "if all women did it, then guys would have to respect us" isn't very realistic. If you really want to make a point, surgically remove your breasts. Or is that going too far? Feminism serves as nothing more than a wedge to further seperate the sexes, segregating men and women into cultures that wouldn't otherwise exist."

Women can vote, and the only reason why a man would get paid more than a woman is because they are doing a better job than the woman is. There is no federal law setting different wages for men and for women. The only thing that a modern day feminazi is accomplishing is looking like a stereotypical man as opposed to a stereotypical woman, and fighting to make abortion and contraceptives legal and free. (And I don't agree with abortion in all cases, so why would I associate myself with people who are supportive of it?)

I support equal rights for all races and genders, but I'm going to grow my hair out, dress girly most of the time, wear makeup, and shave my legs and armpits and everything else. Why? Because that's what I want to do. I want to look like a stereotypical female. I'm proud of being a woman. My body should not be an indicator of my political beliefs. That's the opposite of "progressive".

But by all means, if you're a woman who doesn't want to shave, then don't shave. It's your body, and you aren't harming anyone by not shaving. If you don't want to dress like a stereotypical female, then don't. Dress however you want. But don't think that refusing to shave your legs or dressing like a stereotypical man is going to give women rights that they already have. All you're doing is acknowledging the fact that there are differences between men and women and that you would rather look like a man. And that's fine if that's what you want to do, live your life the way you want to. Just don't expect anything to change because of it.

Trying To Figure It Out.

I used to have it all figured out. I knew exactly what I was doing with my life, or at least I thought I did.

My dad and I took our cars to get serviced today, and we're very familiar with the staff at the shop. Pops was chatting with the supervisor, and told him that I was starting college soon. The supervisor then asked me what my major was, to which I replied "I'm not sure yet." He seemed surprised at my answer, and then randomly said that the healthcare industry was booming right now. I know this. I've researched many careers in the healthcare industry in attempts to see if I would like to pursue them. I honestly cannot see myself being a nurse, though I did consider it for some time.

I don't know exactly where I was going with that. I guess my point is, I don't have it figured out at all. I don't even know where I want to go to school yet. For the longest time my goal was to transfer to Simpson as a Psych major, get my BA and being working as a Psychiatric Technician in a mental hospital, and then go back to school, get my MA in Counseling Psych and become a Marriage and Family Therapist. I never really wanted to get married or have a family of my own, if anything I was going to adopt a child and be a single mom by choice.

Well, life can change you, and it sure as heck changed me.

A few weeks ago I worked for 3 days as a Recreation Director for a Home-School Practicum Day Camp. I worked with about 80 children between the ages of 3 and 14. Maybe it was seeing the "artwork" the kids produced those 3 days, or maybe it was how excited the kids got over the silly games I made up, but something from those 3 days made me want to have a family of my own.

Being a single child of two older parents kinda... sucks? I guess that's the right word for it. But I wouldn't trade my family for the world. I love my parents and I think having older parents has been very beneficial for me (but that's a story for another day). The only "sucky" part is that I had to grow up really fast, and had to deal with sickness and death and loss far earlier than I should have.

As I said, my parents are older, and therefore so is the rest of my family. I have lost many family members in my short life, and I have spent many days in hospitals visiting family plagued with various illnesses (but the Lord is good, and has healed people in my family many times.) I'm not here to give ya'll a sob story, so I'm not going to go into details. Just know that I have lost many people that I love, due to age or illness.

Analyzing myself made me realize that the loss of my family prevented me from wanting to create one. I just didn't want to live in fear of loosing people near to me. But during those 3 days I found myself asking, what if it was worth it? Is love worth the possibility of pain and loss? I pondered that question when I saw all the happy young families at the Practicum, and BAM, it hit me. My stony heart cracked, and I realized that it's totally worth it. I felt this unfamiliar desire to have a family of my own. Not today, certainly not within the next year or two, but someday when I find someone who makes me happy (and hopefully I make them happy too).

So, there is one BIG change of mind for me. The other is the aforementioned change of major, err, lack of major. I really don't know what I want to do in my professional life. I've gone from wanting to be a MFT, to Cosmetologist, to Ultrasound Tech, to Nurse, to something in Business, to Clinical Psychologist, to Lawyer, to Accountant,  to now possibly History Teacher, all before even starting college. I also am no longer sure where I want to study. I might decide to stay at home and go to CSU - Sacramento instead of transferring to Simpson. The beauty of the situation is, I don't have to decide today. Or tomorrow. I have a year or two before I need to make any decisions when it comes to my major or choice of school.

God is faithful, and I'm sure that he will show me what is right for me and what will make me happy, as he did with showing me how great having a family can be. I might not have it all figured out yet, but I'll get there.